Orange Sherbet and Jessica Rabbit

by Alice Folkart

I'm more than tired of the games that have been played with my name all my life, from kindergarten through grad school: 'Rabbit – grab it,' 'Rabbit Stew Who are You?' 'Run, Rabbit, Run – let's have some fun,' 'Fun Bunny,' 'Bunnie Buns,' and now, 'Dr. Bunny' and the honorable 'Dr. Jessica R. Rabbit, head of the College of Letters and Sciences,' never mind about what happens at Easter. It doesn't help that I bear a close resemblance to the more expensive Barbie Doll models; not my fault that I have beauty, brains and an incredibly stupid name thanks to the poor language skills of the intake clerk who filled out the reception papers when great grandpa Rabinowitz arrived at Ellis Island – Abraham Rabinowitz, a respected Rabbi in Gdansk, became Abraham Rabbit, and Rabbits we have remained; and Rabbit I will be until I marry. Aye, there's the rub -- I love Dr. Howard Hutch, dean of Science and Technology, the man of my dreams, a man who likes to eat orange sherbet in bed and who has to taught me all of the secret ways in which orange sherbet can be enjoyed, and he loves me; but because of my standing in the international academic community, my many scholarly monographs, my three books on the Middle English poets, I really should retain my own name, or at least hyphenate and become, Oh My God, Jessica Rabbit-Hutch. Well, you say, why not? Good question. Okay, okay, I've made it this far with a ridiculous name; I've got a wonderful man who is incredibly creative with orange sherbet (and who knows what other flavors), a superb career, and I can have the perfect life regardless of how silly my name is; but, Howie wants kids, kids who will get plenty of orange and maybe carrot sherbet, kids that we will not name: Peter, Flopsy or Jemima.

6S - C2

Alice Folkart is a self-described "newbie." (Welcome!)